A lot of girls break up with their bf even though they still love them when the bf doesn't seem to understand their needs and over time they feel frustrated, disappointed, and are tired of feeling sad about the relationship. My thought is that, despite still being in love, their heart becomes weary. Even though when together they feel really happy, there is obviously more time spent throughout the week without the bf and in this alone time the girl feels sad and lonely even though she has the bf because she feels he doesn't understand her, really care personally about her, or is taking her for granted instead of thinking of her as his special someone.
To girls who have been through this, does the above ring true to you? Is there more, or something else going on in your mind/heart as well? I admit I neglected her and the relationship over time but know I can make the changes I need because I do still love her and never want her to feel this way again. I think she's conflicted but too tired to keep trying on her own and also her pride won't let her reconsider. To anyone who can relate, any thoughts? I guess my thought is that under these circumstances, the girl still has feelings for the guy but her reasoning (she's been thinking about why she feels this way) and her pride (not wanting to take back an ex and also not going back on her judgment) as well as being scared of going back cover up whatever feelings are/were there, so if I can show her the chemistry we first had and show/prove to her I have changed, it might work. Maybe I'm wrong?
It's been about 2 months since the break-up. Right after the breakup, I made the mistake of trying to convince her to reconsider, but then I gave her space/time and contacted her via text a few weeks later. I had left a thoughtful letter on her car and texted to let her know and she seemed to appreciate it and she told me about the stress at her new job, kind of like the way we used to text back and forth before. But then when I left another small note and gift on her car the following week, she texted back saying I didn't need to keep doing that and that I should try and meet new people and that she wasn't sure if she could feel for me the same way again and that she was sorry. But she agreed to meet up for coffee next week.
I'm thinking of just being honest with her but not begging her to come back and just explain I know how she must have felt during our relationship, would like another chance, but also realize that's more emotional baggage for her when she's already had to worry about whether staying in this relationship was the right decision for a few months now. So that if her heart is too weary, maybe we can just meet up as friends a few months down the line when she's managed to sort through her feelings. Is this how I should approach next week's meeting over coffee? I don't think she'll come running back into my arms right now because the frustration/sadness/disappointment she's felt seems to be strong enough that right now she wants to move on, but I'd like to keep the possibility of getting back together down the line open - although I will be sure to get on with my life, too. We were together for 6 months so she may have felt sad for a while - maybe it's too late? If I try hard to show her I still care and can change without pestering her, will that only push her away or help her see I'm genuine? Any thoughts regarding where she's at emotionally right now and what I can do would be helpful. Thank you in advance.Girls: taking back ex boyfriend? Would you?
Do not listen to Sarah. A TV show is a terrible source for relationship advice. Those are fictional characters written to be dramatic.
Do what you want. If you still love him, but he needs some work, then tell him what he needs to do and tell him about your feelings.Girls: taking back ex boyfriend? Would you?
It sounds like she's trying to move on for the most part. But with you still contacting her, leaving notes and what not. She may feel guilty that you're trying. That's why she's even meeting you fir coffee. Otherwise, it would be ';out of sight, out of mind';.
Meet for coffee to get closure on this relationship (sounds like what she really wants). Wish her all the best, and move on.
weird.....my x and i are going through the same thing right now...how weird would it be if your the x lol
WOW
Watch Friends.
Ross and Rachel particularly.
Seriously, I was that girl and I liked the chase the guy was giving me because its was showing me he cared and I liked the attention he was giving me. I felt I was important in his life when I thought he didn't care. I also felt he would be there whenever I wanted, so I let him be the one too want me back and realize his mistake. Its kind of like an ego boost in a way. Honestly if a guy throws himself at me I lose interest because I know I got them and there is no challenge. Go for coffee and just talk but DON'T throw yourself at her. Just go and tell her you still have feelings for her but the ball is in her court and tell her to think about it. But tell her, that she knows your feelings and you will give her some space. She will come back Most likely. But at the same time, I know you care about her, but don't close yourself off to other people either. Good luck!!! :):)
Hm, How strange, my ex and I are going through the same exact thing.
Anyway. I think you should start a conversation with her and bring it up like ';hey we need to talk'; kindof thing. Usually like a serious talk. Just tell her you want her to be honest and then tell her how you feel. It should work.
Best of luck
-Cheyenne -.-
No comments:
Post a Comment